The Beginning of the End

I’ve been thinking a lot about Christianity recently. Fortunately, it’s not something that I allow to consume my thoughts too often, but I believe this last bout of mental noise started when I saw Mark Driscoll at the grocery store. He is the pastor of Seattle’s only megachurch and has made quite a name for himself in Christian circles due to his compulsion for posting his sermons on youtube. He and his church go to great lengths to appear “hip” and culturally relevant, but largely amount to dressing up an age old message with torn jeans and thick leather bracelets.

Technically he’s a Calvinist: believes in predestination and has a literal interpretation of the Bible, much like the church I grew up in. I am familiar with the talking points and the apologetics surrounding the more difficult to digest parts of the Bible. I was an Evangelical missionary for a number of years and got my kicks by trying to convert Hindus in India to Christianity.

Seeing him at the store prompted me to search some of his sermons online, just to see what this Seattle pastor has to say about living in one of the gayest and unchurched communities in the country. His church, Mars Hill, is packaged for a younger generation and is full of my cohorts. Each week thousands of them funnel into the nine campuses across the city (and one in Albuquerque, NM) to hear Driscoll preach via satellite feed from the Ballard campus. He enjoys railing against sexual immorality, which includes almost everything except the way that he has sex (with his wife of many years). These aren’t his opinions, he’s always quick to point out, but rather those of God, chapter and verse included. Other Christian leaders, such as Joel Osteen in Houston, TX, often find themselves in the cross hairs of Driscoll sermons, accused of preaching a false gospel that emphasizes health and wealth over sin and redemption.

He opens his lectures up to a question and answer session each week which oftentimes leads to a discussion on the topic of homosexuality. Is it a sin? How should I treat my gay friend? How do I lead them to the Lord? Typical dilemmas for the 21st century Christan. These dilemmas exist because society is slowly changing it’s opinion about the gay, and Christians are finding it harder to simply tow the party line on the issue. Gays and lesbians have a “friend” in the White House now, as opposed to previous years, and are looking to achieve significant civil rights over the next several election cycles. This worries people like Driscoll and indicates to him that our society is rife with immorality and set against God's purposes.

Many Christians tell me, “not all Christians are like that. I’m not like that.” Well, maybe you should be, is usually my response. I mean, the Bible does seem to indicate that it's a sin and at odds with the male/female relationship that St. Paul uses as a metaphor to describe Christ and his church. And if you have a problem with your God hating homosexuals, maybe it is an opportunity for you to really evaluate what it is you believe about the divine and whether those beliefs make any logical sense. It’s a scary proposition, losing everything you thought was true about yourself and the world around you, but one that offers great rewards.

Being gay, something that I wasted years of my life on trying to fix, was ultimately the window that opened up for me to be able to step out of the delusion the church was selling me. The delusion that there is this God out there that has opinions about a variety of social issues. That delusion that human beings are not the product of millions of years of biological evolution on the planet, or that sexual variation within our species is somehow ‘unnatural.’ Those Christians that say they aren’t “like that” or don’t “believe those things” are walking the proverbial fence because they are too afraid to contemplate what it would mean if their God wasn’t real. It is they who extend validity to characters like Mark Driscoll with their silence as their friends suffer under the pressure of such a belief system.

I wonder sometimes if this fight over gay civil rights, and more basically gay peoples right to exist in the world at all, will be a catalyst (among other catalysts) that offers more and more the ability to step outside this delusion of God and sin and redemption, etc. It is a story that has evolved over time and has enjoyed centuries of unchallenged hegemony. But, if creation is to be a reflection of the divine force of the universe, then God is at least a little bit gay. This is one of the places where the narrative begins to unravel, and the grub worms that have enjoyed generations under the cool, damp rock are exposed to disinfecting sunlight for the first time. As the Jerry Falwell’s and Pat Robertson’s of the world die off and people like Mark Driscoll and Rick Warren scamper to fill their shoes with a slightly revised version of the same old shit, who is going to stand up and say “No thanks, not for me.” Windows abound to offer freedom from this archaic belief system, and you don’t have to live your life on the fence, not being “that kind of Christian.”

Ultimately Christianity, along with everything else around us, is certainly set to go the way of the dinosaurs and from this lens isn’t all that consequential. In the meantime, there is a better way entirely, and Mark Driscoll, buying eggs and milk with his wife in aisle three at Safeway, isn’t offering it to you.

The Ex Gays And Their Ministry

Let’s talk a little bit about ex-gay ministries, shall we? They have undergone an reformation recently, as they scamper to appear more tolerant during a time when public opinion and science moves away from them.

For those in the church that have never been touched by the issue of homosexuality, either because you are not one or a close friend or family member is not one, this branch of your religion probably goes mostly unnoticed. You may be only vaguely aware that such programs exist through such non-profit arms as Focus on the Family and Exodus International. There are also regional campaigns run by local churches, all with the same stated goal of curing people of “unwanted homosexual desires." It's foundation is propped up on a fundamental untruth.

This untruth, of course, is that people can and should seek to change their sexual orientation. This is simply not the case, and there are plenty of reputable studies to suggest as much. For a person who has not been touched by the issue of homosexuality, it’s an untruth without any consequences. It really doesn’t matter to their life whether a homosexual can become straight through religious therapy. It’s an easy thing to support because it comes at no cost and requires no thought. But for those who have been made to feel inferior by the constant repetition that their sexual orientation is evil, wrong, dirty, and shameful the consequences are great.

Much attention has been paid recently to the suicide of gay teenagers as a result of bullying in school, but this phenomenon is nothing new. For years, anti-gay activists have toted the suicide rates among gay teens as an indication that a “homosexual lifestyle” is innately depressing or damaging to a young person’s psyche. There is something below the belt about using statistics that you helped create to support the lie you are telling to being with. It’s a statement rambled off by ex-gay leaders and consumed by those that don’t really give it much thought. This covers the ex-gay ministries in a shroud of false legitimacy and gives them the appearance of being culturally relevant.

In an effort of reform their image, these gay ministries are no longer advertising toward the parents of a gay teenager promising that he can change but are now marketing themselves as seekers of those that wish to “rid themselves of their homosexual desires.” Their promotional videos interview men that are “thrilled with the results” and “are excited to start their journey to recovery” from their unwanted homosexual desires. Most of these men are middle aged, and have likely been through similar forms of therapy many times in their lives. They have probably spent a lot of emotional and financial resources on this issue and are getting really desperate for a solution. When pressed on the authenticity of their practices, ex-gay groups hide behind the fact that their mission statement specifically states that they help people with unwanted homosexuality. One always wants what he can’t have, or unwants it as the case may be.

My mother asked me a few years back if I had ever contemplated suicide growing up. I could tell through the phone that she was softly crying, having just returned from a funeral for a friend’s teenage son. For many years in her world, and in the world of most conservative Christians, the gay lifestyle is described as a sad, lonely, depressing existence. It’s what they are told from their leadership because the existence of homosexuality as a naturally occurring orientation flies in the face of the some other “truths” the church has regarding marriage and gender roles. It chips away at their authority and the authenticity of their holy book(s). Historically, saying that homosexuality is normal and OK is like suggesting that the earth revolves around the sun, or that celestial objects like the moon are riddled with craters and therefore imperfect. Ex-gay ministries are a modern day extension of religion’s innate difficulty with change. With any luck, soon enough there won’t be any more men reaching middle age in need of their services. And that can be accomplished by just speaking the truth.