In Response

I recently received a comment on a blog entry that I had written back in January about the Bible being revised and expanded for today's society. I must say it is one of the wittier things that I have written about on this thing, and am quite proud of it. The commenter, who I do not know, did not seem to share my same enthusiasm for blasphemy and tactlessness.

Now I will not repost the comment here, because it is quite long and goes on and on about a variety of side issues. Feel free to read the comment yourself to get the full effect. The gist of the message is this: I make a mockery of the Lord Jesus Christ because I have chosen to finally accept myself as a gay person. My liberal views about the Bible make absolutely no sense, and are simply my way of covering up the deep insecurity I feel. Having sex with other men will not fill the deep hole that is in my heart. (Insert whatever joke comes directly after a sentence with "sex with men" and "deep hole.") In order to please God I should pick up my cross, which Lord knows had been weighing me down for years, and follow him. The commenter then goes on to admit to me that he is also gay, or was gay, or something. I think he said "enslaved to gay porn," which sounds like a bondage film.

It should be noted that this person knows absolutely nothing about me, which becomes clear when he talks about "my raging teenage hormones." I only wish, now that I am at peace with my sexuality, I could have those raging hormones back. I would put them to good use. But I am a 25 year old man, and while certainly not past my prime, I simply will never again be as horny, as often, as I was when I was 15. It also should be made clear that while many in the evangelical closeted community think that openly gay men go around fucking every guy they can get there hands on, this has not been my experience thus far. Gay people are people, and people, particularly as they get older enjoy a little intimacy. Monogamy. Stability. Need I continue?

Initially my reaction to this bloggers comment did not include any of the fruits of the Spirit. What a douchebag, I thought. But then I decided to read his blog and go all the way to the beginning. May 2007, one gay man's journey to find peace between his sexuality and his faith in Christianity. I read the first three entries, which was really all I needed and all that I could stand. He described in beautiful prose the struggle that gay people raised in strict religious environments deal with on a daily basis. He laid out the fear, the shame, the anguish, the recurring thoughts of suicide, the confusion, the sense of eternal abandonment. He has many loyal readers who also struggle with "same sex attraction," as its called, to make it sound more medical, more like a disease. They have found a place on the Internet to meet together and share each others stories and offer support in the cold, harsh world that the Church of Jesus offers these people.

After years of genuinely informed inquiry, many aspects of Christianity simply seem improbable to me. I do not believe in the Jesus of the Bible for the same reason I do not believe in Zeus. I do believe, however, that Jesus of Nazareth was a real person. People had a God experience with Jesus when they met him. He had a depth of understanding about the world and the way human beings are to be that caused people's lives to be transformed in a very real way. And he never mentioned a single word about homosexuals. If you are a Christian that has ever spoken ill of gay people, referred to their sex as vile and unloving, their existence as unnatural and an abomination, you should feel deep shame. Jesus would overturn your offering plates and declare that you have made a mockery of his Father's house. Others in your congregation, who hear you say these things, are gay people. You just don't know it. It will depend on their individual journey through the hell you have helped to create for them as to if you ever will.

The man who made that comment to me, a fellow homosexual, is a tragic figure. He is not a douchebag. He is lonely, tired of waking up cold and horny. He has been put through the ringer his whole life and clings to the only things that makes him feel safe. I have more in common with him than I do with many of my closest friends. We have walked down the same road, and somehow arrived at two very different places. He would say that I got lost along the way, and I would gently remind him that he simply has not arrived yet. Every person deserves to be whole. And that includes falling in love, and yes, having sex, with someone wonderful. Even if both of those people have a penis. Those that would deny a person this basic human need, this joy they so often flippantly take for granted, deserve to be exposed for the spineless pharisees that they are.

One of the tenants of Christianity is to be an example to others. "Follow me, as I follow the example of Christ," Saint Paul declares. I feel that same sense of responsibility in my own life. I know that I will live to see the day when homosexuality is no longer an issue for the church. Homophobia will take its rightful place in the grave next to slavery and the combustible engine. All I can do is to do my part. Speak out when I feel it is right, and offer a helping hand to those that are hurting. We all have a role to play in this human problem. Knowing that I will help to leave the world a better place than I found it is the greatest gift I can receive. And I am grateful.