Two Sides of the Same Coin

As I sit down to write this, Barack Obama has been President-elect for three days now.

The American people did it! We looked past the fear the Republicans tried to spoon feed us over the last few weeks of the campaign and elected our first African-American President. The Republican party that George W. Bush ran into the ground over the last four years is going to have to find a new soul or pass away into history. The significance of this moment has not been lost on the media or the country at large.

I was overcome with emotion when I saw the great black icons of this nation burst into tears talking about what this moment means to them. For a people that has had to fight so hard for so much, the validation of what happened on Tuesday night will never be forgotten. The power of that moment will be with us forever. Two little black girls, that fifty years ago would not have been able to share the same water fountain with whites, will grow up in the White House. This makes me smile. Whoopi Goldberg said it was as if she could finally put her suitcase down. Welcome to our country.

While it is important to acknowledge the decades long battle of the civil rights movement culminating in the election of President Obama, the fact that he is black does not change the fact that our country has serious issues to face. I, like most of the people that voted for Obama, did so not because or in spite of his color, but because we believed that he is the man best equipped to deal with the problems we face as a nation. He will be tested and judged just as harshly for his missteps as for he triumphs over the next four years. He has the opportunity to rise to the occasion, and I believe that he will. The next few weeks will be very telling as he addresses the nation several times, puts together his transition team, and the portrait of an Obama Administration begins to take focus.

All of this excitement and sense of accomplishment is slightly overshadowed in my mind by something else that happened on Tuesday evening. As black people marveled at an event they never thought would happen in their lifetimes, gays and lesbians were reminded that they are still second class citizens in the eyes of the majority of the country. These issues are two sides of the same coin. With the passing of Proposition 8 in California, Proposition 102 in Arizona, Initiative 1 in Arkansas, and Amendment 2 in Florida, the struggle for gay equality took a hit.

In California, the Mormon church, a group that previously was so nationally hated that they had to escape to their own state, poured millions of dollars into the campaign to take away the marriage rights of gay and lesbians. Now, the irony of the Mormon church protecting "traditional marriage" is obvious. It has only been recently that the Mormon church has understood marriage to be between one man and one woman, and it was indeed their polygamist view of marriage that caused them all the persecution in the first place.

The other group that voted overwhelmingly to ban gay marriage in California is African-Americans. Again, the irony is clear. The civil rights movement as it applies to blacks marked a great victory this week. A victory that is shared and celebrated by the whole country regardless of race. Simultaneously, this same movement for equality suffered a setback in the same evening and serves as a warning to anyone that thinks our work is over. It is hard to explain this reaction from a group of people that also had to work so hard to receive full inclusion into our society.

From a personal standpoint, it is hard to not let a setback like this get to me. I think of my friends that have been married in California over the last few months, and my heart breaks for them to think that as quickly as it was given it has been taken away. I think of how I was raised to despise my sexuality, and constantly reinforced with the idea that gay people were perverts, freaks, and second class citizens. I think of the moment I decided that I could not live a lie anymore regardless of what the consequences were for coming out. In large part, it is this struggle that I carry with me, that will forever be a part of me, that allows me such empathy with the black community as they watch one of their own take the reigns of the country. It is exciting, it is a huge victory, and an even larger validation of the black community as valuable members of our society.

Several people called me up to offer their condolences regarding the gay marriage bans that passed this week. However, it is not just a chap on my ass, but on the ass of the entire country. As long as there is still a group of people in America that is denied their civil rights, the full potential of our country will never be realized.

It also needs to be noted that this gay marriage issue is not like many other issues in politics. There is a clear right and a clear wrong. One side is struggling for their rights to be fully included in society. The success of something like this matters deeply to them, and has very real effects in their every day lives. And what of those that voted for the ban? They go about their daily lives and probably don't think about it again. In fact, I am sure that their vote came out of such unconsciousness that the harm it caused a group of people that has known nothing but struggle for inclusion in society is completely lost on them.

However, there is reason for hope. This is what this whole election season has been about, we want to have a renewed sense of hope. Proposition 8 passed by the slimmest of margins. It indicates progress. There will be another vote. And another. And another. Until we win. Public opinion is changing, and the manufactured fear that comes with an issue like gay marriage will continue to dissipate. The churches that fought so hard for this ban will not go unpunished. Perhaps they won this round, but what has been said cannot be taken back. They have shown their cards, their true character, and where does that leave them in ten years? Twenty years? When 52% of the electorate is no longer on their side?

You reap what you sow. And you don't want to fuck with gay people. Many of us have been through too much in our personal lives to be intimated by religious fanatics and intolerance. This gay is never going to sit down and shut up. I will see gay marriage in my lifetime. I will see more and more gay elected officials in my lifetime. I will see a gay Speaker of House, and maybe someday even a gay president. And I will see the day when gay is not even an issue anymore. Just a boring fact about someone's personal life.