Tokin' Up

The 20th Annual Hempfest was this weekend in the Emerald City. Last year's marijuana festival had eluded me because I was such a new resident. I didn't know it had happened before it was already over. This year, not so.

The Hempfest is a festival that, I guess, "celebrates" marijuana. Rows of booths tote the praises of the herbal messiah while attendees enjoy a toke out in the open, guarded by police officers who are there with strict instructions to only keep the peace. It is right along the waterfront in a section of town that, throughout the year, is frequented by wealthy tourists.

There is something fairytale-ish and surreal about watching large groups of people smoke weed while the police are casually mingling amongst them, only ready to spring to action if someone gets violent. Which never happens, cuz, dude, man, they're smoking pot.

While I appreciated the novelty of the festival and the shear turnout for the event, a larger, more pungent factor prevailed. Hippies are dirty and dirty smells. I am a strong believer in achieving a sense of balance in one's life. I think it's safe to say that if you fail to bathe regularly due to your love for the ganja, you have failed to achieve this balance. The wafts of patchouli that emanate from their B.O. ridden bodies are the icing on the cake. Just writing about it brings me back to that place. It is a dark place. You get the picture?

My main criticism of Hempfest would be that it was very counter-cultural. It gives the impression that the only people who smoke weed, or want to legalize and regulate it for recreational use, are stank ass hippie-motherfucken reggae enthusiasts. Clearly this is not the case, but you wouldn't know any better by attending Hempfest. If you want any sort of political change, throw up a couple of cool ass- partying lawyers and a red-eyed city council member. If you make them feel welcome, they'll come. Seriously, it's Seattle.

I was struck with the absurdity of having a festival around an agricultural phenomenon that the country considers an illegal drug. Everyone knows what you do at Hempfest, there are thousands of people there, and the police are brushing up alongside you trying to get through the crowd. It seems that something in our law needs to change to reflect public opinion and behavior. How are you going to house all these people in a holding cell? And the smell. Oh, God.

Hempfest was an experience that I'm glad I had. I won't need to go next year.