The Sky Is Falling!

I encountered two seemingly different points of view today on the subject of the end of the world. It is of interest to those of us who used to believe a certain way about things, and have since entered a Renaissance.

The first subject is that of Pastor John Hagee, and what he is spouting about the End Times. Hagee is a mega-church evangelical pastor in San Antonio that has in large part taken over the terrible void that was left in the evangelical community when Jerry Falwell died, may he rest in relative discomfort. Hagee is seen by tens of thousands of rapture enthusiasts each week, on top of his 19,000 member church congregation. Now, his public statements have come under some scrutiny since he has publicly endorsed John McCain for President. Here are some of my all time favorites:

"Most readers will be shocked by the clear record of history linking Adolf Hitler and the Roman Catholic Church in a conspiracy to exterminate the Jews." - from his book, Jerusalem Countdown.

"All hurricanes are acts of God because God controls the heavens. I believe that New Orleans had a level of sin that was offensive to God and they were recipients of the judgment of God for that." -Interview with NPR

"I don't believe in global warming. " -Interview with CNN, October 12, 2007

So, this guy is clearly a great resource to get all your up to date End Times news, right? While I have not actually read one of his books, I pretty sure I catch his drift. I am sitting there listening to him talk about the End Times. The basic drift of his message is this: There is going to be an earthquake of all earthquakes and a great nuclear holocaust in Israel. Then the Antichrist is going to come into the world, get shot in the head and come back to life, implant us all with microchips, and create a one world government and religion that is going to somehow be antithetical to whatever Jesus wants. And, if you don't believe him, he will ensure you that is all in the Bible. I can't remember whether or not the Christians are getting raptured before or after this happens. I am amazed that there are enough people that are into this shit that there is a thriving End Times industry out there that gives this nut the time of day, but I guess it takes all kinds.

Hagee has all sorts of clever ways of taking obscure passages of the Bible out of context and then twisting them to support his fairy tale. He was able, by the end of the interview, to support his view that the Bible says Russia will enter into another Cold War with the United States for control of the oil reserves in the Middle East. Excuse me, what? I would love to play this guy in a game of RISK. I would kick his Bible thumpin' ass.

The idea of oil brings us to the second subject I was confronted with today. There are a growing number of voices in the scientific community that are warning the general public about the reality of what is called "peak oil." Basically "peak oil" refers to the time in the relatively near future when global oil production will peak, and everyday after that humans will pull less and less oil out of the ground. There does not seem to be a good consensus about when this will happen, but almost certainly in my lifetime.

Now, it is important to remember that "peak oil" is not the same as being out of oil. But as demand will only increase due to population and development, particularly in young global economies like India, when oil production peaks supply will decrease every single day after that. So, when demand overtakes supply and the gap keeps getting wider and wider by the day...well, I won't get into the specifics. If you don't understand the problem that this causes, go ask John Hagee.

Everything in our life has been built around the idea that we have an endless supply of cheap energy. It keeps our food supply fully stocked and cheap, makes international trade and travel possible, allows us to heat and cool our homes, and is literally the driving force of the economy. So, as I am watching this program I realize that this scientist on the television is talking about the exact same thing as Homo-hater Hagee: The end of civilization as we know it.

Now, if I was a betting man, I would say that the peak oil people are probably a little closer to reality. I mean everyone can admit that fossil fuels, which come from millions of years of biological decomposition, are a non-renewable resource. So, there is a finite amount of oil on the planet, and we are getting much closer to when our production will peak. And, we have not done our homework in advance to switch seamlessly into a form of renewable energy to keep up with our present usage or future demand. Shit.

So, when we can no longer get into our cars to travel to work, and the food can no longer get from place to place to fill the grocery store, and people can no longer use the same amount of electricity, and when there is a drought you will die of thirst, it will certainly be a different time. But, will this be the tribulation Pastor Hagee speaks about? Not unless the first 15,000 years of human history without oil were just one long, clusterfuck of tribulation. But, you can rest assured that is precisely what people like John Hagee will be telling their loyal followers.

Does it still count as the End Times if you can see the potential disaster coming and choose to continuing living in such a way that is causing it to come faster? What if the problem is not God's wrath on all the feminists and Palestinians, but rather on society's addiction to dirty, non-renewable energy?

A few possible solutions have been suggested to deal with the peak oil crisis. One is to begin to restructure cities and small towns to operate in smaller units. Have every neighborhood provide an economy unto itself in order to provide society with all the essentials of food, water, shelter, and employment all within walking distance of the neighborhood. No car, very limited trade. Any way you cut it, all the solutions deal with cutting back on economic growth while humans perfect the technology of renewable energy to be able to cope with the global future demand.

However, End Timers like John Hagee, consistently point to the certain "signs" of the End Times. Here are a short list of those signs:

1)The rebirth of Israel
2)The invention of the nuclear weapon
3)The invention of international television
4)The Ease of international travel
5)The rise of a global economy
6) The Marvelous Inter-web.

All these things in combination are going to work together to bring about the type of environment where the Antichrist can take control of every single person on the planet, Hagee argues. The Perfect Storm, as it were.

One small problem. If the "peak oil" people are right about this peak oil stuff, then humans are going to experience a problem in being able to keep all these lovely modern advances running cheaply enough to provide them to everybody. The Perfect Storm has just turned South, missing the point completely! Suddenly a large portion of the world's population stops receiving a television signal, and only the very wealthy will be able to afford a plane ticket to another country. Some are even predicting it will be worse.

So, it looks like Hagee might be jumping the gun with the whole Antichrist thing. But shit, he's got to say something or his sheep will stop listening. End Times doom and gloom is big business. And the best part of it is that it's all emotional based sensationalism, so it stands up very well against, say, scientific evaluation. So, when the problems start with the worldwide shortage of energy and all the additional side effects, you will hear people like Hagee saying things like "see, I told you so."

When that time comes, I will pull out this blog, written in 2008, and recall my own version of prophecy. Then, I will turn off the television, which isn't getting a signal anyway, put on my walking shoes, and go out there to campaign for the highest position in the land: President of my local township!

Warning: Reading this may cause cancer.

Every time you crack open an ice cold beer or reach for that pack of smokes, you are reminded by the authority of the Surgeon General of the United States, that your activities could have hazardous effects on your health. A variety of pleasurable activities are consistently deemed "risky" or "dangerous" by the government. And the purpose of all of this is so that you, as an adult, can make an informed decision about what you are getting yourself into. However, there is a governmental warning missing off of a very important activity that millions of Americans perform each week: fundamentalist religion.

If the government called me up and asked me to formulate a warning label which was to be stuck into the preface of all religious texts (including, but not limited to the Bible, the Koran, the Torah, the Joel Osteen books, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Papal Decrees, Mel Gibson movies, and O Magazine) it would read something like this: The Surgeon General has concluded that believing every word in this book came directly from God can cause difficulty functioning in the real world. Risks include, but are not limited to, delusions of grandeur, actively preparing yourself to be raptured, inability to reconcile reality with your world view, the acquisition of an imaginary friend, and your inability to understand those that you love most.

I think that would adequately describe the symptoms of someone who thinks that their way is the only way to understand God, or the world, or love, or war, or peace, or the afterlife. However, the illness lays dormant for some time before the symptoms appear. The symptoms are generally brought up upon some sort of world view conflict where the stakes are too high to keep ignoring the inconsistencies. Unfortunately, the longer you have held these beliefs and the more time, money, and effort you have invested into your way being the "divine truth," the harder the fall.

Every fundamentalist at some point is going to have to come to terms with the fact that they have been lied to. Lied to by their spiritual leader, the manipulation of their holy book, and their community of friends that constantly reinforced their belief system. Religion takes perfectly kindhearted, well meaning individuals, and turns them into propaganda and recruitment soldiers for the cause. And, just like terrorists, religious leaders use extreme fear to influence the behavior of the general population. Although, the threat of burning in hell for all eternity is a bit more extreme and painful than any terrorist attack the world has yet seen.

Perhaps the worst part of all of this, is that it is done under the guise that somehow they are speaking for God. Fuck you guys! I am pretty sure that if God was to talk to people, it would not be these people. And to top it all off, spiritual leaders are self appointed ideologues that claim to be sent by God. That has got to piss Him off! However, he truly must be patient and loving, because for more than 4000 years he has allowed these psychopaths to mistake their personal reservations about human behavior and quest for political power as His words. When you're convinced that God conveniently hates all the same things that you hate, rest assured that you're an asshole.

Having a strong sense of spirituality is to be praised. Feeling a connection to the source of all life is a divine thing. Religion, however, is toxic. And it will eventually catch up to you. So, next time you see a "God Hates Fags" sign, or hear some right wing nut going on about how God is crying about all the aborted babies, or that catastrophic disasters are God's judgment on those who do not believe the same way that they do, feel free to extend your middle finger. I mean, it is your God given right.

And remember, next time you pick up that bible, or step into that church or mosque: fundamentalist religion may be hazardous to your health.