It's all about me.

It has been many months since my last blog, and many things have changed in my life since that time. Now, traditionally I do not blog about myself. I find it boring to write and probably equally boring to read, but I do feel as though a blog about myself and what I am up to these days is called for.

On July 30th I left Nacogdoches, Texas for the last time and drove across the state to Lubbock to spend five days with my family there. I must say that I never realized Keaton, my cat, was such hooligan in the car. What should have taken me all of 9 hours took me 12. Thank you dear Keaton, and I promise to never take you on a long journey in the car again.

I had moved to Nacogdoches in the summer of 2004 to go to Stephen F. Austin State University, and stayed there 18 months after graduation to work on Business Development for the coffee company I worked for as an undergrad. I was musing recently about the personal growth that happened to me while I lived there.

When I arrived, I had just finished a stint with Youth With a Mission (YWAM) in Tijuana, Mexico building houses. I can build a wicked four wall house with a roof and an outhouse. A good skill to have, I suppose, if you are ever caught in say...Tijuana, Mexico. I was, to say the least, completely entrenched in Evangelical Christianity. I had spent the previous year in New Zealand and India converting Hindus to Jesus, which surprisingly is not hard. They already believe in 300 million gods, what's the harm in 300 million and 1?

Evangelical Christianity has its moments. I mean, you get to go to heaven and hang out with the big JC for all eternity. Also, the music within the last five years or so has become incredibly cutting edge. When I was growing up, Christian music was simply not as cool as secular music. No longer the case; quite an improvement to say the least. However, it has its downsides as well. Unfortunately for me, Evangelicals do not believe in homosexuals. They believe in a personification of evil that rules the underworld, but gays are like unicorns.

Now, I should explain a bit further. According to the handbook, gay people are not real. There is such a thing, however, as "struggling with homosexuality." If you happen to be one of the unlucky people that suffer from said affliction you do have some options. First, you can pledge yourself celibate and marry Jesus, retreating further back into the closet until you find Narnia. Many people do this. Or, you can subject yourself to demonic exorcism. I chose the latter.

I realize that for many people this sounds totally insane, and it is. However, in my defense I lived in a world where this seemed like my only option. This process is very similar to the popular "reparitive therapy" that is practiced by fundamentalist Christian organizations like Exodus Ministries in the United States. To put it in layman's terms they claim that they can change your sexual orientation through a series of sessions where you do plenty of bizarre role playing. If you are really that interested you can youtube it.

So, when I arrived in Nacogdoches this had been my existence for the previous two years. It's a hellish place to be, but as I have learned suffering produces beautiful things in people who make their way through it. Nacogdoches was my cocoon. I arrived there a deeply closeted, self loathing, very confused young adult and emerged quite differently. I suppose a butterfly would be an appropriate analogy, but that's kind of gay.

That's where I've been. Here is where I am. On August 4th I moved to Seattle, Washington. Holy shit. This city is absolutely amazing and full of people that are just like me. Seattle is known for some of the best weather during the summer of any place in the country. Today it was 72 degrees, 5 mph breeze, not a cloud in the sky, and snow capped peaks on all sides. A nice change from East Texas in August. We'll see how I feel in January when I have not seen the sun for two months.

Seattle is also the most intelligent city in the country. I suppose this is determined by the percentage of the population that is college educated. Art, literature, poetry readings, tasty food, Buddhist meditation centers, and beautiful gay men abound in this place. What's not to love? I feel so...blessed.

I cannot wait to see what turns my life is going to take while being up here. In retrospect, everything that has happened to me in my life is an accumulation leading me to this moment. And truthfully, that is all we ever have. This moment, right now.

Alright, that wasn't so bad, but don't expect any more blogs about me. I am going to pick this whole blogging thing back up. I encounter crazy and funny shit everyday in this place and I think, "that would make the perfect blog entry." So, be ready. It's about to get really fun!